Still trying to figure this life thing out…


Coldplay – UFO

Some friendships you believe will last, and then when you least expect it they are gone like balloons floating in the wind. You can still see them, watching them from a distance, FB, but they are no longer with you…

People float around like spirits, passing in and out of your life, doors opening and closing. I don’t get this, to teach us, to learn the lessons we need until they are no longer with you?

Like little surprises, the joy you feel when you first meet them, long lost friends or family you have been waiting for your whole life – and then – just like that they are gone. You lose touch, you get busy, you meet someone else, you move, and when you turn around they aren’t there dancing, laughing at your jokes, having coffee with you.

Some years later another surprise, a knock at your door, an email, a phone call from an unknown number – they are back. They are different now, grown-up, more mature, and are right back on the path with you and you wonder how you ever seperated in the first place. You say things like, where you been old friend? You still love them, you always did. There are tiny compartments in your heart that you hold dear for many of them. You love them all and hate letting them go, but you realize that is all you can do. You can’t control the path you are on.

Control is an interesting concept. Stability, marraige, our way of keeping someone close, for fear of losing them, but as I grow older I feel less and less in control over who is in my life. Nor do I want to control them.

It makes me sad sometimes when I feel a shift, a change. Like Mary Poppins, they are gone – and in between friends I mourn their passing. They have all inspired me, shared amazing moments with me, ones I will never forget, but just like that, they vanish. I won’t know when our paths will reconnect, if ever they do…but I must keep going, skipping down the dirt road, meeting new souls. Like Jenny from Forrest Gump, nothing is permanent, as much as we want that, believe that, it is untrue.

So goodbye new friend, till we meet again.

Estella G.

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