Fear…

Fear is an amazing thing. It has the ability to keep you in a box. A box of comfort, limits, and a false sense of security. This term has come to my mind frequently especially around the holidays. Football, the Macy’s Day Parade, we all have our traditions, but this Thanksgiving I have decided to step out of my box.

I didn’t watch the parade, I didn’t make plans to cook massive amounts of food, I instead prepared dinner for one, me. I made a new Thanksgiving dinner, a juicy steak.

I say fuck the turkey. I never liked turkey anyway…

I admit, I felt uncomfortable leaving the box. I had some feelings of guilt not watching the parade. Venturing into the grocery store was a bit lonely, but I pushed onward and what I found was a stress-less day doing things I wanted, writing, blogging, and napping.

Instead of cooking for 48 hours, washing a never-ending pile of dishes, or feeling guilty for over indulging – I had neighbors surprise me with a bottle of wine and in turn, I offered them half of my steak dinner. After all, isn’t that what the holidays are truly about?

Step out of your box and maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Happy Thanksgiving Y’all!

Cheers,

-Estella Grace

A Poem of Declaration…

Here is a song that inspired me to write this poem.

Coldplay – Paradise

 

A crusade through the night, fighting fire with a knife,

cutting those aside, that threaten my bright light,

soaring through the air on a mission to declare,

my right to succeed, to be happy and free,

flying high above the clouds, my voice stating aloud:

I will wake up each day, knowing everything will be okay,

watching the sunrise, expecting a big surprise,

something amazing, as I continue trail blazing,

shedding each layer of hurt, as I walk this new dirt.

The lessons I’ve learned, I will share in return.

I deserve to be loved, showered with hugs,

I will learn to receive, instead of loving disease,

My pain will be reversed, for my life is not cursed,

I will obtain peace, all the negativity released,

The angels keep me away, from those who can’t play,

awakening me to laughter, dancing hereafter,

You can come along when you’re ready, but I move ahead steady,

I will take back what is mine, love and self-worth, as I cross the line.

 

-Estella Grace

Related articles

• Fall Into Paradise With Coldplay! Watch Today Show Performances! (perezhilton.com)
• Coldplay Do “Paradise” On Letterman (stereogum.com)

The Universe Works in Magical Ways…Synchronicity

I believe in synchronicity - events or signs occurring all around us that run parallel to one another. Whether it be a message being communicated to us, or an answer to a question we had been searching for. In the last year two very special people came into my life. Both were very positive spirits always rooting me on and uplifting my spirit.

Several months ago one of them told me I needed to see the documentary “I AM.” She even went as far as getting me free tickets. The film, directed and hosted by Tom Shadyac is about his shift in perspective after going through a near death experience. This pushed him to look further into the depths of the universe and ask some difficult questions. Here is the trailer:

I Am Trailer

The movie deeply impacted me and has since changed the way I look at the world. Love always wins.

Three months later, my other friend suggested I watch Oprah’s Lifeclass. At the time I didn’t know if I had her cable channel OWN, but I took the note and stored it in the back of my mind.

Last night I was flipping through the channels and I saw a show that was about Newton’s Third Law. I thought, hmm…that might be interesting. I turned to the channel and I looked at the screen and lo and behold it was Oprah’s Lifeclass. The show she told me to watch.

Her guest: Tom Shadyac from ”I Am.” Now I don’t believe in coincidences. This is the power of synchronicity, the two positive mentors in my life coming together in one show. I was in awe of the universe and its magical ways. I was supposed to see this episode.

It gave me amazing insight into putting out positive energy as well as some much-needed answers I had been looking for a while. It inspired me so much that I wanted to share it with you.

Here is the link to the episode: Putting out Positive Energy

Today’s Class airing on 11/11/11 at 8pm is titled: You always had the power. Hopefully we can watch it together and learn something.

Lot’s of love and positive energy to you!

Best,

Estella Grace

On the Road to Domestication – Homemade Apple Butter…

On my way to becoming the selfless 1940′s housewife Estella Grace, I have begun canning my favorite Fall recipe, Apple Butter!

It’s that time of year again and this recipe is perfect to jar and give as gifts. I even put my own label on it Estella Grace.  She’d be so proud…

Amy’s Apple Butter Servings: 6 small jars (3 jars)

Time: 1/2 recipe 6 hours low Time: Full recipe 12 hours

• 2 cups of apple cider or juice (1 cup)
• 1 cup of sugar (1/2)
• 4 teaspoons pumpkin seasoning (2 teaspoons)
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves (1/4 teaspoon)
• 2 teaspoons FRESH ground nutmeg (1 teaspoon)

Peel, core, and chop the apples. Throw into the slow cooker on low heat. Add in the cider or juice, the sugar, and the spices. Put on the lid and let the aroma fill your home!

To check out more of my recipes log onto:

www.onceinlovewithamy.wordpress.com

Or for step-by-step directions visit:

Amy’s Old-Fashioned Apple Butter.

Happy Fall!

~ Estella Grace

And the sun will shine again…The Facebook effect on relationships

My song dedication to Ed.

Rihanna – We Found Love

I just recently exited out of a relationship. I don’t know how stealth my exit was, but I guess I felt I was living a lie – victim of a Facebook crime. The guy, let’s call him Ed, put a Facebook label on our relationship without asking me in person first.

When I received the notification from Ed that he declared me as his girlfriend it sent a spiral of emotions through me. First I thought, we hadn’t even discussed this?! Then I was flattered and then I thought what if I didn’t accept the request, would I have lost him for good? In my mind hundreds of his friends had already seen it, creating additional pressures on top of going from casually “seeing” one another to a full-blown relationship. With hours of hesitation I clicked YES giving in to a website. (Idiot!) Clearly we were not on the same page.

I guess you could say we fell in love in a hopeless place as the Rihanna song goes, so I accepted the request. Another month went by and sadly the status on my homepage was eating at me every time I logged on. I am living a lie! I never agreed to this! but I did through an online notification. What happened to the good ol’ days when we talked about things?

My conclusion: If you want me to be your girlfriend please ask me in person first. I guess I’m just old school like that…

- Estella Grace